Moderation is the Key

I hate that word, moderation. I don't want to be moderate. My natural inclination is to run into all things feet first. I hate taking the slow and methodical way, i hate doing things in stages. i also do not want to learn things in stages. I want to know it already. Take knitting. It is not fair that i am so far behind in the grand process of how to do things. I want to make things, i want to make beautiful things. I want patterns to make sense. Take food. I want to eat chocolate all day long. I want to drink wine and salty peanuts. I don't want to choose the low fat cheese. Now, i do not want fattening chicken or beef, or a hamburger patty, but i want to eat the equivalent of a Big Mac! I want the biggee fries. I especially would like to get a large size iced latte instead of the puny medium. I want to be able to work out in the gym for hours on end. I want to be able to do an entire weeks worth of work in one day, then be off for the rest of the week. Having sex all day long with my honey and not needing rest, would be awesome. Saving the world and doing tons and tons of volunteer work would really be sweet. Can you imagine not having to say no to your friends and family? What about having your cake and eating it too? I could be super mom, super wife, super employee, super daughter , super best friend, super wife. I could cook all i want, shop all i want, do all the crafts i desire, i would sew my own clothes, bake bread every day, have a clean clean house, fit into size 2 clothes, perfect hair and make up, perfect legs. Wow, i could talk on my phone or text or pix msg all day long. I guess i could do all those things, or try, but what ireally need is more hours in the day. Then i could do what i wanted all the time. I could probably find the time, if i didnt need sleep, or showers or other personal needs. I guess i am not willing to give up sleep. Oh well, i wanted to get yarn for knitting and i never made it to the store, i wanted to work out but forgot to pack my clothes and sneakers. i wanted to eat hot food at lunch but didnt pack it, so i ate a salad. I also passed over the stinking candy bar at the check out line at the grocery store! How is that for willpower. But i did buy the bag of tvp to try and make veggie burgers later this week. I made polenta for dinner and added some low fat cheese and i thought it was awesome. I guess moderation has a point, it keeps us healthy and all that stuff. but i wish we didn't have to moderate to be healthy. I wish i had the knees for total all out activity. I want so badly to take the spin class at the gym, but i cannot even do five minutes on the bike now. Oh well, life is what it is. I jsut have to live with it.

Why do I bother?

I have two sisters. I have a mom. I am, for some reason, in the middle. I love them all. But all my life i have been caught in the middle of a game. I don't know the rules of this game, i have no idea what the objective is, and I have no idea how you even win. To be honest with you, i dont think there is a winner. This is the game. Mom and two sisters have conflicts. Mom calls me and ask for advice or opinion. Sister calls me and ask for how to deal with mom. I am now to tell each one how to go about being a certain way to the other. I am somehow to do this while keeping it secret. I cant take sides, but am supposed to have an opinion. Sometimes i get to hear complaints, sometimes i am told to tell the other one to stay out of it, butt out, or back off. I get to tell the other that one is sorry, one is mad, one is stressed, one is sick. Sometimes i feel like Hermione Granger and i want to say, "I am not an owl!" If they are aguing, they want me to make it better. If they are happy with one another, i am to applaud and affirm that they are doing the right thing. If they are sick, I am to make them feel better about snapping at someone. Here is how it goes, sister is stressed, mom wants sister to talk to her, sister feels anger at mom wanting to know how she is when she never cared when i was a teen why does she care now? Two days later, it goes this way, "mom doesnt care if i live or die, i am sitting here sick as a dog and she doesn't even care" "why can't she call me anymore?" or "mom just called and i dont know if i want to let her in, what if i just get hurt again?" How am i to win at this game? Sister calls to tell me she is having problems. I know mom wants to know that she is struggling, she wants to be there,wants to be supportive, but she just does not always know how to go about it. Sometimes her support comes across as nosey or judgemental or Lord knows what. It just comes across wrong. and then i get the fall out. someone calls me angry or upset and i get to smooth it over. I have been playing this game for as long as i can remember. Sometimes i want to play a different game, but there is no end to this one. I love my family and i want to be there for him. But day after day, i smooth over the edges, make people feel better about themselves and just deal. People ask me, about this or that. But i dont know. I dont ask questions. I dont want to know. They all seem to choose to tell me what they want me to know, when they want me to know. Until then, don't ask, don't tell. It is the way we roll at my house. I need a name for my family dysfunctional game, any suggestions? Did i ramble too much? If you know my family, it all made sense.

Etiquette

Ok, i know that we do not practice formal manners so much anymore. Our tables are not set with more than one fork, and unless we are having soup, no spoon. But we have rules for behavior just the same. I am referring to drive thru etiquette and landromat ettiquett. I don't go the landromat so often that i can remember all the rules here today. But some of the rules come to mind today.
First off, the drive thru. Now i know that we cannot all have our money out at the great second they need it. I too have pulled up and experienced that miracle of miracles, the empty order box and straight drive to the pay window. But, honestly, some people just seem to think the entire world is on bended knee for their demands. They do not have any clue what they want. So they sit there and read the menu like it is a great novel. it has the same items on it that was there last year! Why linger for so long? Order all ready and give the rest of us a chance. Also, if you are needing to order a feast for a million, go inside, the drive thru is not the place to go on and on, give the rest of us a break! The next breach of etiquette is the failure to pull forward to the next space. It is so annoying to see ten feet of space in front of the car in front of me, and can see that if i could pull forward that ten feet, i could be ordering my iced Latte and small fry. A drive thru is all about speed and convenience. If i could conceivably get out of my car, push yours forward and put my car in that space, then it is not so efficient is it? Why do they do it? Why cant they pull up? What are they saving that space for? Ugh.
Ok, landromats, don't put your beverages on my folding table. I need to use that space, and i don't want to knock over your drink and get my clothes dirty. i also don't want to get the sweat off your drink on my clean and dry clothes. Not to mention i need the space. Another point of contention, a rule, don't stand at the dryer and fold them there. Other people need that dryer and my clothes can be half way to dry in the time it takes you to stand there and fold them. Take your clothes in that nice rolling cart and go somewhere and fold to your standards. dump in a basket and take them home wrinkled, i don't care , just move! dryers are at a premium... next, don't share with me your life history jsut cause we made eye contact! I really dont need therapy or a new friend just now. By all means bring a newspaper and read. something that is appreciate, helping newbies learn the ropes. If you see a poor soul staring blankly at the various equipment, for heavens sake, tell them how to do it! A great many people are at the laundromat as an act of self preservation and have never been in a pay for laundry service before. Also, you would be surprised at how quikly your clothes are done washing or drying. Pay attention. Others are waiting to wash their stuff and if your clothes are washed and ready to go into the dryer, by all means get it to the dryer so i can wash mine now! If you own a laundromat, by al means, fix your stuff. Why the heck would you have twenty washers up and running and only ten working driers? Do you really want to see two cranky, overworked, sleep deprived women argue over a dryer? do you need the bad press of a homocide at your establishment? No one wants to see bloodshed over mighty whiteys. but come on! You can take but so much.
And that is my beef with the whole process, from driving to get a latte to washing all my clothes. yippee..